Isikhathi sesikhashana kubafana. Kufanele baziphathe kanjani abazali?

Isikhathi sihamba ngokushesha. Muva nje, umndeni ulethe esibhedlela inyanda encane enengane elele ngokuthula, iminyaka yadlula, umfana wakhula futhi wakhula. Ngenxa yalokhu, kufika isikhathi lapho ingane yayizolo iqala ukulungiselela impilo yokuba mdala. Esihlokweni uzothola ukuthi iyini iminyaka yenguquko kubafana, ubude bayo, izimpawu nezimpawu zayo.

Lapho ingane ifinyelela ebusheni, ibhekana nobunzima. Isimo somzimba, ukwazi nesimo sengqondo kuyashintsha. Ukukhula komzimba kwenzeka ngasikhathi sinye nenkathi yokuthomba. Izinguquko ezisohlwini zithinta uhlelo lwemizwa lwentsha.

Ingane iba nolaka futhi ibe nolaka. Abazali balahlekile futhi abaqondi ukuthi kufanele baziphathe kanjani nendodana yabo. Ukuze usize osemusha, udinga ukwazi ukuthi iziphi izinguquko umzimba wengane ohlangabezana nazo ngesikhathi sobusha.

Iminyaka yesikhashana kubafana idlula eneminyaka eyi-11-16. Esigabeni sokuqala, umehluko wobulili uyavela. Ngeminyaka eyi-17, ubuntu bomfana sebwakhiwe ngokuphelele.

Izici zobudala besikhashana

• Isikhathi soguquko yisigaba esikhethekile empilweni yanoma yimuphi umuntu, esihambisana nokuthomba, ukukhula ngokomzimba nokukhula okuqhubekayo. Ngalesi sikhathi, ukwakheka kwezinhlelo nezitho zangaphakathi kuyaphela. Ukukhiqizwa okukhulu kwamahomoni kuqala emzimbeni.
• Kubafana, iminyaka yenguquko iqala ngemuva kwesikhashana kunamantombazane. Cishe esikoleni esiphakathi, amantombazane aqala ukushintsha abe amantombazane, kanti abafana basabonakala bengabantwana. Ngemuva konyaka, umehluko uyanyamalala.
• Ubudala besikhashana kubafana abuhlukaniswa ngemingcele echazwe ngokucacile ngokwesikhathi. Ezintsha, izici zesikhathi zibonakaliswa ngokuhlukile. Umzimba ngamunye ubonakala ngezigqi ngazinye. Ngakho-ke, ukusho ukuthi iminyaka yenguqu ihlala isikhathi eside kangakanani kuyinkinga.

Abazali abanakekelayo nabanakekelayo kufanele banake izimpawu nezimpawu zobusha ezikhombisa ukuqala kobusha.

Izimpawu nezimpawu zokuthomba kubafana

Ngesikhathi sokuguquka, ukubukeka kanye nengqondo yomfana iyashintsha. Isikhathi sihambisana nezinguquko ze-hormonal nokuthomba. Intsha iqala ukugxeka ukubukeka nokukhathazeka.

Ukuzijwayeza kukhombisa ukuthi abafana abachayeke ekuzikhandeni okukhulu ngokomzimba futhi abaphuza iziphuzo ezidakayo bafinyelela ebusheni kamuva kunontanga abenza izifundo zomzimba futhi abangayibulali impilo yabo ngemikhuba emibi.

Ukwazi izimpawu nezimpawu zokuthomba kungakusiza ukuthi ubone izinguquko zakuqala futhi usekele ingane yakho.

1. Lapho eseneminyaka eyishumi, isitho sangasese somfana siqala ukukhulisa. Ngemuva konyaka, uhlaza nokufakwa kombala kwesikhotha kuvela ngaphezu kwezitho zangasese. Ngonyaka olandelayo, izitho zangasese ziyaqhubeka nokukhula, futhi uhlaza luba lude futhi lube lukhulu.
2. Lapho ngineminyaka engu-14, izwi liyashintsha. Lokhu kungenxa yokwandiswa kwezintambo zezwi, ukukhula kwemisipha yomphimbo kanye noqwanga. Izwi liqala ukudlanga. Imvamisa ukwakheka kwezwi kuphela ezinyangeni ezingama-24.
3. Izinwele zekhwapha ziqala ukukhula, kuthi udebe lwaphezulu lumbozwe olokuqala phansi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uhlaza luvela ebusweni, emilenzeni nasezingalweni. Ukwakheka koboya bezinwele obumbanayo kuphela ngasekupheleni kweminyaka yenguquko.
4. Ngeminyaka engu-14, isicubu sensizwa siqala ukukhula, amahlombe anda, ukukhula kuyakhula.
5. Cishe bonke abafana abasakhula baba namaphupho manzi - ukujula ebusuku. Odokotela bakubheka njengokujwayelekile lokhu.

Njengoba ukwazi ukubona, isikhathi sokuguquka sibonakala ngezimpawu nezimpawu ezihlukile.

Psychology yobusha

Ngesikhathi sobusha, isimilo nokuziphatha kwensizwa kuyashintsha. Umfana uqala ukuphazamiseka kakhulu ngokubukeka kwakhe.

Uzama ukubukeka kahle, futhi ukugxeka kunolaka olukhulu. Ukunganeliseki okuqhubekayo ngokubukeka kungukubonakaliswa kwemvelo kokukhula. Ngokumelene nalesi sizinda, ukungaqiniseki namahloni kungavela, okuhlangana ndawonye ngokuvamile kuholela ekuhlukanisweni.

• Ukukhula komfana kuhambisana noshintsho olukhulu ekuziphatheni. Lokhu kungenxa yezici zomzimba, kufaka phakathi izinwele ezinamafutha, izinduna, ukujuluka okukhulu. Insizwa ivusa isifiso samantombazane. Futhi inhloso enkulu ukuthola umlingani womphefumulo.
• Ngokumelene nesizinda sokunganeliseki ngokwakho, kuvela ulaka olungazelelwe nokwesaba okuphezulu. Ubudala besikhashana buhambisana nokubonakaliswa kokungabi nanhlonipho kubantu abaseduze komfana - abazali, othisha, ontanga.
• Ukuqhuma kwemizwelo kuyinto ebalulekile yesiteji ebangelwe ukwakhiwa kabusha komzimba. Ama-hormone abhekele ukuthomba komfana abizwa ngokuthi ama-androgens.
• Ngalesi sikhathi, izinsizwa zizibeka njengabantu abadala. Bazama ukukhombisa ukuzimela kwabo kwabanye. Ngaphansi kwethonya lemizwa, benza izinto ngaphandle kokucabanga ngemiphumela.
• Abafana baba nentshisekelo ebudlelwaneni obusondelene futhi bakhangwa kakhulu ukuya ocansini. Lesi yisikhathi esethusayo sabazali, njengoba ukushesha kokuthomba kuvame ukuhambisana nokubonakala kokuphazamiseka ekuziphatheni ngokocansi.
• Imvamisa, ubusha bubonakala ngokubonakaliswa kokunaka abanye abafana. Lokhu kungenxa ye-sex drive engazi lutho ngesikhathi sokukhula okusheshayo komzimba. Imvamisa, ngemuva kokuqala kobudlelwano obusondele "obulungile", ukuphambuka kuyanyamalala. Ngaphandle kwalokho, udinga ukuyisa ingane kudokotela wezengqondo.
• Kule minyaka, kwesinye isikhathi kuba nemicabango yokuzibulala. Ngokwezibalo, inani lamacala anjalo ezinganeni ezisakhula likhula ngokushesha. Ukuziphatha kokuzibulala kubhekwa njengomphumela wokusebenza kwezindlela zokuzivikela, inkokhiso kumfashini, ukulingisa abangane. Isenzo esinjalo sinezisusa ezihlukile: ukusebenza okuphansi kwezemfundo, ubudlova bomzimba, isizungu, ukuziphindisela, ukuluthwa yizidakamizwa.

Uma indlela indodana yakho eziphatha ngayo isishintshile, yisize ibhekane nalesi simo.

Indlela yokuziphatha kubazali

Izinguquko zomzimba, zihlangene nezinkinga zengqondo, zenza ubusha ebafaneni bube yisikhathi esinzima. Kudinga umzamo ukusiza ingane.

Ngokudabukisayo, ayikho indlela yendawo yonke, icala ngalinye lihlukile. Thenga ukubekezela nokubekezela, uye emgomweni wakho, ulandela iseluleko sodokotela abasebenza ngokusebenza kwengqondo.

1. ubungani... Imvelo idlala indima ebalulekile empilweni yomfana, ngakho-ke abazali kuzodingeka bazame ukuyifaka. Lokhu akulula ukukwenza, ngoba indodana inesiqiniseko sokuthi awukwazi ukumqonda. Zama ukumvulela futhi ukhombise ukuthi nawe unezakhiwo kanye nokushiyeka. Ukuba ngumngane wengane yakho, uzokwazi ukufinyelela kukho konke okwenzekayo empilweni yakhe, futhi, uma kunesidingo, kuzosiza.
2. Khombisa intshisekelo... Ngesikhathi sokuvuthwa komfana, uhlelo lokubuka umhlaba kanye namagugu lushintsha kakhulu. Ngokukhombisa intshisekelo nokusekela ezintweni ezithandwa ingane yakho, uzothola ukwethenjwa. Khuluma naye njalo, ube nentshisekelo ekubonaneni nasempilweni, umbandakanye ekuxazululeni izingqinamba zomndeni.
3. Inkululeko... Umfana osemusha udinga isikhala sakhe negumbi lakhe. Ingane kufanele inikezwe inkululeko nelungelo lokukhetha. Akufanele ulawule zonke izenzo zakhe, ulalele izingxoxo nezinto zokucwaningwa kwamabhuku. Ukukhawulela ingane kukhuphula amathuba okuba nenkinga, ngoba isithelo esenqatshelwe simnandi. Xhumana, thola ukuyekethisa bese uyishayela ngomkhondo ofanele.
4. Ukungabi nokugxekwa... Kunezimo lapho ukugxekwa kubaluleke kakhulu. Kulokhu, kufanele kube okwakhayo. Ungayiqondisi endodaneni yakho, kodwa ekuziphatheni kwayo, ezenzweni nasemaphutheni. Intsha iyazwela ekuphawuleni, kunconywa ukuthi iveze ukungeneliseki kahle, futhi kwezinye izimo, kuhambisane nokudumisa.
5. Ukuqashelwa kobuntu... Umfana unobuntu obugcwele, obunezintshisekelo ezithile, imibono nemibono yomuntu siqu. Ungazami ukushintsha indodana yakho noma uphoqelele umbono wakho kuyo.
6. Dumisani... Ukuveza amagama okuvuma nokudumisa umfana, ubamba iqhaza ekuveleni kwamandla nesifiso sokunqoba izindawo eziphakeme. Uma ingane yenze isenzo esincane esihle, ukunconywa kuzoba isisusa sokuthuthuka nokwenza ngcono. Ngenxa yalokho, indodana izoba ngcono.
7. Khombisa ukubekezela... Uma indodana yakho iluhlaza, musa ukweqisa. Khumbula, imizwa ephezulu iwumphumela wobusha. Ukuhlehlela emuva okunodlame kuzoholela ehlazweni. Ukuze ingxoxo iphumelele ngokwengeziwe, yiqhube endaweni ezolile.

Ekugcineni, ngizonikeza iseluleko esincane. Uma ufuna ukwenza lula iminyaka yenguquko, bhalisa umfana esigabeni esithile. Kubalulekile ukuthi ingane ihanjiswe ngumsebenzi omusha ngaphambi kokuqala kwesikhathi sokubhekela. Ukubhukuda, ibhola, ubuciko bokulwa kuzosiza ukugcina umzimba usesimweni esihle, ukuphazamisa imicabango emibi nokuqinisa isiphepho se-hormonal.

Umbuso wezemidlalo awunabungani nokubhema notshwala. Uma indodana idlala imidlalo, amathuba okujwayela ukuluthwa anciphe kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngenxa yokuqeqeshwa njalo, ngeke abe nesikhathi sokuxhumana nabafana abayimilutha yotshwala nogwayi.

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